So you want to be a Backside Guide. You may have been on a trip with us this year and thought, how in the heck do I get the job with the snazzy jacket and amplified microphone voice?
First off, you’re asking the wrong question, what you should be asking is do you have what it takes? Most of our current guides have several years of professional cat herding experience, an important part of the job to be sure. They are also all fluent in drunkanese which is a complex language designed to effectively communicate important messages to throngs of people who either can’t or don’t want to listen. Lastly, and most importantly, our guides love their chosen sport of skiing or snowboarding, and winter in general. They are the type of people who miss shoveling their driveway whilst on tropical vacations. They are the type of people who spend fall training for chairlift season by sitting outside second story windows, adorned in winter gear. They are the type of people who ride summer slip and slides whilst standing up. They hold yard sales not because they have anything to sell, but because they’d rather get those types of things out of the way.
There are a few travel companies out there, but if you want to work at this one, are you willing to clean someone else’s bodily fluids, all so you can go riding with your best friends every weekend? Are you willing to make tough choices like who deserves to be recognized for being the raddest dude or dudet in the universe?
If you think you got what it takes, then and only then should you begin considering how to be awarded your gortex guide coat of arms. The most common path is to come on the trips and meet the guides. Hang out with them, sleep with them – in a plutonic circadian sense in order to view their hibernating habits – talk to them, let them ride with you, conveniently be the plus one in the singles line as they get on the chairlift. Show up at their house unannounced. Invite them to your Grandmother’s Bar mitzvah (is that a thing, I’m not Jewish?). Do whatever it takes to make them like, love, and trust you. So at the end of the season they will pick you as their recommendation for new recruitment. We trust our guides here; after all every single one of them has already taken a bullet for us, or if not a bullet then at least a shot. Thus, when they recommend someone, we follow it up with fastidious mild interest.
There is also the traditional route of applying with a resume and cover letter. But I can count on one hand how many applicants have been hired that way (makes a fist). Just kidding, I am counting illiterate. But if you do choose this route, get creative. Make a video, send over a taco gift basket, show up at our offices in snowgear to demonstrate your readiness. And if all this fails, try being an attractive female. That usually works (kidding!). Just make sure you’re not trying to become a guide after the month of June as come July, our upcoming guide roster is set.
Thanks for your interest and good luck. Both with your application and in life. We’ll see you on the hill. We’ll be the ones singing Journey and quoting Anchorman.